Woohoo!
It’s 15 minutes to 3 AM. My sleeping habits leave a lot to be desired. Well this is the time I feel like makin’ love to you. A la George Benson. I think I am talking a lot of nonsense here. Mucho tired. Well I am going over to daryl’s house tmr. Not sure why. I haven’t even told him yet.
So army time in a couple of months. Hong Kong trip in a little less than that. And Daryl’s House tomorrow. What an exciting itinery. Woohoo!
Also i believe I am fat. I have been eating too much. I need to stop. Sigh. I don’t like being fat. I HATE IT!!!
Anyway here’s elvis!!!!!!
Elvis being Elvis.
Ahh. Saiful tired.
I’ll go do some exciting things soon, like espionage and cross-country escapades, so i can blog about them. Lovely.
Rubbish.
37 Days…
Just 37 more days left.
A week more,
And it’lll be a month more,
and then a month more,
And I will be in ghim moh!
Home.
I have never lived in Ghim Moh, but it’s still home to me. Ghim Moh Secondary School gave me the best 4 years of my life. I met such great people there. People I still know. People I still talk to. People I don’t ever intend to lose touch with. I never imagined myself saying this while I was wearing that drab blue and white uniform, but I miss the days in school.
Ghim Moh Secondary Schoool!!!
Haha. Physics class, we’d be chilling at the back not listening to a word Mr Ch’ng was saying. We’d all be just talking cock and playing. Hahahah, i remember edwin was spraying water at me in sec 3 i think, and i threw a bucket at him. hit his head. LOL.
In physics class; Huiwen, melvin, euwei, me and Edwin. I think i am massaging euwei’s shoulders for some strange gay reason…
Then we’d run off for P.E, listen to Mr. Chua’s long stories and we’d get “get on our feets, up”!!! Some lucky days we’d end up playing soccer. AND OH GOD, the pink ball tournament!!!!!!! hahahaah. i can’t remember who was the nut who brought the pink plastic ball to school but i sure as hell remember wasting the whole of our recess playing soccer with it and coming in late and sweaty for Naidoo’s chemistry. Haha. and yong’d have his fan all to himself and his stinky P.E shirt hung up on one of the windows to dry. Chu Hon, or Hon Chu as he calls himself these days, would go to Chem with Roy Chua instead and listen to all his “rubbish” cos the powers that were decided me and him would never study if we were in the same chemistry class. Oh how right they were!!!! I remember once in sec 2 or 3, hon was playing with a bunsen burner beside me and talking about it. He had stuck his pen in it and somehow lost his pen cap in the burner. He started jiggling the burner to try and remove the cap. But it was to no avail. Just as he was shaking the bunsen burner hard and high in the air, Mr. Chua called out to him. Hon didnt hear. He kept shaking it. I poked him. He looked up. Chua was like, “what are u doing”. Hon was like, “oh”. I was like “bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Like I said, best years of my life. And the great thing is I still keep touch with most of the guys I hung out with at school. And the infamous soccer gang is still going strong, nearly 4 years after it’s inception. Brilliant.
At the “Daryl House” after school!!!
Miss going to daryl’s house and chilling after a bloody tiresome day at school. Woooo daryl house. ahahahahah. and chu’s always like x box. hahaha. winning eleven. karaoke. LAWL. and choonhow’s obsession with the guitar. hahahaha.
Oh i miss home. Only 37 days….
Choon how, hon, me, daryl on daryls birthday at Fish and Co. 2004 or 2005…
WELL THATS ABOUT IT! GOODDAY EVERYONE AND PREPARE FOR THE SECOND COMING OF SAIFUL!!!!!!!!
It’s another one…
Senseless
It doesn’t make sense.
I never see the end.
It never makes sense.
I don’t see the end.
It is love, I am sure
But it is so impure.
It feels so right
So why must I run and hide?
The feelings are mutual
But never quite the usual.
And my heart and soul
Have never been so bold.
I didn’t choose this
But it’s such bliss.
It wasn’t me, I swear.
I don’t know why I dared.
How can it be wrong,
When I feel so strong?
It’s like magic in my veins,
And yet I don’t feel quite sane.
But I’ve crossed the line.
I’ve run out of time.
I can’t ever go back now,
‘Cos I’ve crossed that line.
I don’t wanna burn
And be ashes in an urn,
Or be buried under mud
And feed a growing fern.
‘Cos when that day arrives,
And we’ve said our goodbyes,
I know what my sad fate will be.
Oh, already I can see.
How terrible, terrible, terrible.
It is so very, very horrible.
And I know its wrong,
But I feel so strong.
How can I run away?
What more can I say?
Yes, what more can I say?
And how many more days,
Will I live before I die?
Before I breathe my last sigh?
It’s the heat I will embrace,
And never the peace, will I grace.
It is the pain I will receive,
And it is I who has been deceived.
Don’t be so vain, my dear
Vanity is never good, I fear.
Understand the truths under the lies,
Before this poem shatters and dies.
The web the spider weaves,
Is only complicated to the ant
Whom the spider sought to deceive.
How sad, sad, sad
It’s so very, very bad.
Oh yes my dear, it never makes sense.
You will never ever see the end.
It will never ever really make sense.
We will never ever quite see the end.
How fitting that only that makes sense?
Uh oh!!!!
Uh oh!! theres trouble brewing in paradise… and the angels are confused. god is not happy and the devil is rubbing his hands in glee.
Life looks like a bright diamond,
But really its just a shard of glass.
Life is short and meaningless,
Don’t tell me I never told you.
You always knew it was true.
So don’t fret and don’t fuss
‘Cos it’s just a shard of glass.
Just a goddamned shard of glass. thats what we kill for, thats what we fight and cry for. a damned shard of glass. how shallow the mind is, how ignorant the soul is. oh Man, you are worse than any living creature. not because we are stupid, oh if only we were stupid then it wouldnt be our fault. but no, we are just vile.
When I was born,
I cried till dawn.
And when I will die,
Again shall I cry.
By now any reader of this blog will come to the conclusion that i am some sad depressed fucker. but no. no my friend. these lines are a but a mirror. the greatest folly man committed was to convince himself that he wouldnt commit one.
oh but its not so bad. if i can just get through this patch, i think things will be better. i think. i hope. i pray. to who? i dont know. i really dont know. for once i dont have the answers. and whats more i dont think there are any answers. just questions, loads and loads of questions. its A-Math all over again. oh my feeble attempt at a joke doesnt even make me smile anymore. it used to, once upon a time. but that was a long time ago.
lalala. goodnight
46 more days to home!!!
The Countdown starts today!!! In 46 days i’ll be back home. Back in singapore. Oh I can’t wait. Can’t bloody wait. Oh to see the faces of those who have made my heart their home. Oh to feel the warmth one can only feel in their hometown. AND OH TO EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, id better watch what i eat here right now cos its cold. and the cold makes me hungry. i need to calm down.
YONG!!! HON!!! MUAHAHAHAHaaaa
Bird and Man
Oh, as I lie,
Gazing at the sky,
Watching the birds fly,
I have many questions.
Oh Bird how is it to fly?
How is it to glide in bliss,
To never have a worry?
It must be nice surely.
And how would the Bird reply?
Perhaps it would give a sigh,
And say oh foolish man,
Has God not given you enough,
That you should still want more?
How can you be so unimaginably blind,
When God gifted you with such a mind?
Oh Man, how is it that you want more,
When He gave you all there is to adore?
How is it you can weep over nothing,
When you have everything?
How can you be so blind?
And then it would fly away,
Thinking how foolish Man is,
While I lie down in the grass,
Thinking how foolish I was.
Oh how could I be so strangely blind,
When God gave me such a mind?
And now as I lie
Gazing at the sky
I am finally content
As I watch the birds fly.
17 going on 70.
a year has gone by. i am supposed to be stronger, wiser, smarter and happier. but somehow i feel weaker, more foolish, more stupid and sadder. but hey, i am just 17. its not like i am 70. things are gonna start looking up. theyve got to. i ve got my whole damned life to live and i am definitely gonna live it up. muahahaahahahahah. hey maybe i am wiser. i sure wouldnt have said that a year ago. haha. brilliant.
well i tried to hide my birthday from people over here cos i just wanted it to slide. i dont quite know why. i just wanted it to pass quietly. just the way i wanna die. quietly away from the glare of life, in a dark corner alone with only me and god. but everyone found out.
Someone did say i looked quiet dead.
anyway i skipped english class today. i cant believe i did that. i just couldnt be bothered to go. i just managed to pull myself to the student council meeting. i am just sick of this. really sick and tired. i only have two months and then i am home. home. cant wait to meet all the guys. go to the soccer court. play football. i can run around, trip on my shoe laces or do a little jig past chu hon and score a goal. and get pushed by him later. oh i miss poking choonhow. i miss yongliang and his funnyness. his jolly look on everything. i even miss wenjie and oh edwin and his bonecrunching tackles in soccer. i miss the whole soccer gang. hahahaha. and messing about with daryl at his place and GM!!! OH GM. i miss the food. i miss the place. i miss the people. and who can forget the pussy (gonna be a man soon) huiwen and euwei who did it his way. and manyao. hahahah manyao is such a nut. hahaha. miss em all. love em all. miss the whole damned gang. and god, for the first time in my entire life, i am homesick. god knows why. and he aint gonna open his mouth. its between me and him. yup.
Homies for life, we can hope.
and ofcourse i’ll never forget garchu. forever always in my mind, whether or not its a good or bad thing i dont really care anymore. like i said, i am wiser, got (hopefully) 70, 80 or even 90 years left in me. somehow i still feel like an idiot though. hahaha. somethings never change i guess.
but hey, i am gonna change my whole life, turn me inside out. gonna be a different boy. a man. changing my look on life, my thinking, myself.
and some chinese guys keep saying i look like nani, manchester uniteds striker. chu hon will have alot to say about that. no actually he’ll just say rubbish. hahahaha.
Nani. Apparently my twin.
This is where the similarities end.
And this is where this post ends.
-END-
Two months…
Life sure is funny. John, from Cat’s Cradle, said so once. And I am doing the same now. Life sure is funny. Only, I am not laughing. No actuallyI am. I am laughing. Muahahahahahahaha. Hey i’ve got two months to go then I am out. I’ll be free. I’ll be back on the outside. I will no longer be prisoner no. 24601. Take that Javert! Jean Valjean is something now!!!! HAH!
Anyway, today was a day of sleeping, sleeping in class and eating. Picture this: four people eating pita bread and hummus in Starbucks, taking up some of the best seats without buying any Starbucks dreams. That’s exactly what happened. Brilliant.
However, I am a fan of Starbucks. I love the Tazo Chai Lattes. Mmmmhmmm……
Drink Tazo Chai, Saiful Saleem does! (like anyone cares…)
You stole my heart
Without any warning
Right from the start
Leaving me hoping
Jeeeeeeeeezzzz, i cant wait to get back home. to be engulfed in the warm humidity of singapore. to smell and taste the country. To feel and breathe the culture. Oh what joy it will be to be home. Slightly more than two months left. Time, i hope, will flyyyyyyyyyy.
